Ok let me tell you a thing. Andy is the best fucking thing to ever happen to me. If you say or think otherwise you’re wrong. He’s the guy that looks at me like I’m some awesome magic trick he’s never seen before. He laughs at my terrible jokes because he actually thinks I’m funny. We share a beautiful interest in insult humor and we can literally talk for hours as if were in the movie Casino or Raging Bull. He cuddles my gut, kisses my neck and squeezes my gigantic ass. I wish I could share this perfect human being with every girl but I’m so incredibly selfish that I’m going too keep him to myself. Also we have a “mutual” interest in Robert DeNiro marrying Joe Pesci so there’s that.